ALV Enterprises

31/12/2025

I'm going with Genius!! 😃

For about 2 weeks now I have been staring at our neighbours new fence from my office window. I have been unable to decide if this is genius or total stupidity.

10/10/2025

Jess Edwards !!

So remember when I posted here asking what to do about my neighbor who put up a security camera angled right at our backyard? Yeah, that spiraled fast. There were all kinds of suggestions, some of them wild, and honestly I was ready to march over with a shovel and my loudest voice.

But you all gave me one piece of advice I couldn't stop thinking about: "Ask him why."

So I did. And y'all, he didn't even realize it was angled that way. He'd just gone through a divorce, was living alone, and wanted to feel "less boxed in, but still safe." Then he pointed to a sketch on his patio and said, "I just want to make something beautiful."

That stopped me cold.

Turns out he'd been wanting to redo the fence for months but didn't have the time or skills to get it how he imagined. I told him kind of jokingly, "Well, I work with wood. Been building furniture and outdoor pieces for years. I've got a shop on Tedooo app where I sell my handmade stuff."

He looked at me and said, "Wait, seriously? Would you help?"

What followed was a weirdly amazing two-week whirlwind of building, sketching, sanding, arguing about stain shades, and laughing over pizza breaks. I told him I'd treat the fence like one of my commissions, take full creative lead, and I'd add it to my Tedooo app portfolio to help grow my shop. He agreed.

That photo? That's us finishing the custom fold-down bar table we built into the fence line. Now we've got this setup where we can drop the table on either side for cookouts, pass beers through, or just lean on it and talk about nothing while the grill heats up.

He took the camera down before I even asked.

We had burgers at that table last weekend. His ex came by to pick up some mail and stopped to compliment the fence. He looked proud in a way I hadn't seen from him before.

Sometimes people don't mean harm, they just need connection. And sometimes fences don't have to divide. Sometimes they make pretty great bridges with cup holders.

04/09/2025

Tom Wells bit of metal work there eh!!

30/08/2025

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 my face hurts!!😭😫😩

Last weekend, I made the brilliant decision to buy my wife a 100,000-volt pocket-sized Taser for her safety. Seems reasonable, right? What could go wrong?

Let me tell you a tale...

I brought the Taser home, loaded it with two AAA batteries, and was disappointed when pushing the button didn’t do anything. A quick read of the instructions told me to press it against a metal surface for a blue arc of electricity. Cool, right? It worked. (Apologies to Dana for the burn mark on the microwave.)

Now, as a responsible husband, I thought: "I should test this thing to be sure it’s effective before handing it to my wife." My cat Leo, watching with wide-eyed curiosity, briefly crossed my mind as a test subject, but I love him too much for that (don’t worry, Leo). So naturally, I decided to test it on myself.

I sat in my recliner, wearing a singlet and shorts, and carefully read the directions.

1-second burst: mild shock and disorientation.

2-second burst: muscle spasms and loss of control.

3-second burst: full-on fish-out-of-water flopping.

“It’s just two AAA batteries,” I thought. How bad could it be? Famous last words.

I touched the prongs to my thigh and pressed the button.

What followed can only be described as an out-of-body experience. I’m pretty sure the gates of heaven briefly opened. Hulk Hogan definitely body-slammed me, recliner and all. I woke up in the fetal position, drenched in sweat, with my body convulsing like I’d been plugged into a power grid.

Highlights of my post-shock survey:

The recliner was upside down and 8 feet away.

My cat was clinging to the fireplace mantle, meowing like a banshee.

My reading glasses had taken up residence on the TV.

Both ni***es, my right thigh, and my pride were twitching uncontrollably.

Drooling was my new normal, and I might have lost control of... other bodily functions.

Oh, and my testicles? They still haven’t been located. Reward offered.

Dana? She laughed until tears ran down her face, absolutely loved the gift, and now wields it as a threat in our household.

Moral of the story: Don’t test a Taser on yourself. Ever. For any reason.

(Also, shoutout to Leo for surviving the chaos. Brave little guy.)

30/07/2025

Anthony Vickery

30/07/2025

Retaining wall completed!! 😎