The Fen Ape Laser Design Studio

05/05/2026

We’ve been keeping this one quiet while we waited for the big day… but now the wedding has happened, we can finally share it ✨

Charley who runs A2D Wedding & Event styling came to us at The Fen Ape Laser Design Studios with a brief for a wedding she was styling: personalised, elegant… with a subtle Star Wars twist. Names, date, and “keep it classy.” No pressure 😏

So we got to work and created this bespoke sign using beautiful walnut wood, carefully designed and finished with a smooth varnish to really bring out those rich tones.

We’ve since heard the newlyweds loved it—which is exactly why we do what we do 🥹

Congratulations to the happy couple… and of course, May the 4th be with you 💫

If you’ve got an idea in mind, The Fen Ape Laser Design Studios loves bringing unique requests to life—just drop us a message 👀

31/01/2026

Spotted in the wild yesterday…
A grazing board mid-snack, freshly marked by a Fen Ape with a laser and poor impulse control.

Clean cuts. Crispy engraving. Absolutely no monkey business.

Tag the person who definitely needs one of these at their next do 👀

If you want boards, signs, gifts or event bits done properly (not “Dave down the pub owns a laser” properly)…
Come talk to Fen Ape.

Wood fears us.
The algorithm respects us. 🦍🔥

22/12/2025

Still time to enter!

🎄 CHRISTMAS GIVEAWAY – DEAR SANTA BOARD 🎄

To mark the run of my Dear Santa Christmas Eve chopping boards, I’m giving one away!

Each board has dedicated spaces for:
🥛 Santa’s drink
🍪 Santa’s snack
🥕 Rudolph’s carrot

Made from solid wood, laser-cut, and designed to be reused every Christmas.

HOW TO ENTER:
1️⃣ Follow Fen Ape Laser
2️⃣ Like this post
3️⃣ Comment “Santa” below

That’s it — nice and simple.

🎁 Prize: 1 × Dear Santa Christmas Eve Board
📅 Winner announced in the comments
📍 Local collection

Good luck, and thanks for supporting a local maker.

🦍 Fen Ape Laser

22/12/2025

One of our boards out in the wild! Always a pleasure The Balloon Lady - Weddings and Events

Many thanks to The Fen Ape Laser Design Studio for my new chopping board.
Can’t wait to use it Xmas Eve.

15/12/2025

🚻 THE PRIVY – WORK IN PROGRESS 🚻

Currently on the bench and already shaping up nicely.

Layered wooden sign with engraved detail and a bit of old-school attitude:

“THE PRIVY
Wash Thy Hands, Thou Animal.”

This one’s still in development — final finish and lettering colour to be decided before it goes live.

I’m torn between:
✨ Gold lettering – warm, traditional, very pub / country house
🤍 White lettering – sharper contrast, cleaner, more modern
🎨 Or something else entirely?

What do you reckon — gold, white, or another suggestion?

🦍 Fen Ape Laser
📍 Made locally
🛠️ Properly made, not rushed

14/12/2025

🚚💀 HUMPIN’ & DUMPIN’ PRESENTS: MONKEY BUSINESS 💀🚚

One minute I’m dragging sofas, wardrobes and whatever cursed object you’ve owned since 1997…
Next minute I’m in the workshop burning Santa’s face into wood with a laser like some sort of festive goblin.

Plot twist:
👉 I’m also The Fen Ape 🦧
Same beautiful beard. Same chaos. Just fewer mattresses and more scorch marks.

If you’ve ever thought:
“Why is the bloke who clears my rubbish also making outrageously nice chopping boards?”
Congratulations. You’ve been paying attention.

🎅 CHAOTIC CHRISTMAS GIVEAWAY 🎅
I’ve made a Santa chopping board and I’m giving it away because apparently I enjoy effort.

To enter:
🔥 Follow The Fen Ape Laser Design Studio
🔥 Like this post (https://www.facebook.com/61582365129556/posts/122111915259078837/?)
🔥 Comment SANTA like you mean it

Winner gets a Santa board.
Losers get… nothing. Except my continued presence online.

Share it, tag it, whisper it into the void – Let’s cause festive mayhem.

X Ben X
Professional Humper. Certified Dumper.
And Now… Unhinged Ape With A Laser 🔥🎄

🎄 CHRISTMAS GIVEAWAY – DEAR SANTA BOARD 🎄

To mark the run of my Dear Santa Christmas Eve chopping boards, I’m giving one away!

Each board has dedicated spaces for:
🥛 Santa’s drink
🍪 Santa’s snack
🥕 Rudolph’s carrot

Made from solid wood, laser-cut, and designed to be reused every Christmas.

HOW TO ENTER:
1️⃣ Follow Fen Ape Laser
2️⃣ Like this post
3️⃣ Comment “Santa” below

That’s it — nice and simple.

🎁 Prize: 1 × Dear Santa Christmas Eve Board
📅 Winner announced in the comments
📍 Local collection

Good luck, and thanks for supporting a local maker.

🦍 Fen Ape Laser

14/12/2025

🪞 STATEMENT MIRROR – “I SAID GOD DAMN!” 🪞

First one off the laser… and it’s a belter.

The bad news: Sold already
The good news: I’m now taking commissions for these laser-etched statement mirrors.

Same bold graphic style.
Same clean, permanent etching (not vinyl).
Many designs available — or bring your own idea.

✔ Laser-etched mirror
✔ Crisp, high-contrast finish
✔ Ideal for hallways, studios, home offices, salons or bar spaces
✔ Made to order

Price:
🪞 £35

📍 Made locally
🦍 Fen Ape Laser

📩 Message to commission your own — lead time applies.

14/12/2025

🎄 MERRY CHRISTMAS WOODEN WREATH 🎄

Sometimes you just make something and go:
“Yep. That’s spot on.”

Laser-cut wooden Christmas wreath, cut as a single layered piece so the lettering flows cleanly around the circle. Proper depth, crisp edges, and a natural wood finish that works with any décor — modern, traditional, or somewhere in between.
30cm x 30cm(ish)

✔ Precision laser cut
✔ Lightweight but solid
✔ Ready to hang
✔ Reusable every year

Price:
🎄 £10 each

This isn’t mass-produced plastic nonsense — it’s a proper seasonal piece you’ll bring out every Christmas.

📍 Made locally
🎁 Ready before Christmas
🦍 Fen Ape Laser

📩 Message to order or reserve — limited run.

14/12/2025

🎄 CHRISTMAS GIVEAWAY – DEAR SANTA BOARD 🎄

To mark the run of my Dear Santa Christmas Eve chopping boards, I’m giving one away!

Each board has dedicated spaces for:
🥛 Santa’s drink
🍪 Santa’s snack
🥕 Rudolph’s carrot

Made from solid wood, laser-cut, and designed to be reused every Christmas.

HOW TO ENTER:
1️⃣ Follow Fen Ape Laser
2️⃣ Like this post
3️⃣ Comment “Santa” below

That’s it — nice and simple.

🎁 Prize: 1 × Dear Santa Christmas Eve Board
📅 Winner announced in the comments
📍 Local collection

Good luck, and thanks for supporting a local maker.

🦍 Fen Ape Laser

14/12/2025

🎄 RUDE CHRISTMAS BAUBLES – FESTIVE FILTH 🎄

Before anyone panics:

📸 Photos shown are TEST RUNS on scrap blanks — free wood, size checks, zero polish. Literally just checking the sizes and designs on free wood I had kicking around.

The final baubles will be lasered, cut-out and perfectly centred.

Now that’s out the way…

Swearing? Yes.
Wooden? Yes.
Appropriate for polite society? Absolutely not.

Laser-cut wooden Christmas baubles, made properly — clean edges, sharp detail, no wonky craft-fair nonsense.

Featuring festive classics including:
• Merry Christmas Ya Filthy Animal
• Ho f*cking ho
• Merry Christmas C*nty McF*cknugget
• More seasonal bad language incoming

Pricing
Birch:
🎄 £3.50 each
🎄 3 for £10
Walnut:
🎄 £5.00 each
🎄 3 for £12

Perfect for:
• Secret Santa
• The mate who shouldn’t be trusted with wine
• Your tree, if you’ve got a sense of humour

Limited run. No soft versions. No apologies.

🦍 Fen Ape Laser
📍 Local
📩 Message if you want first dibs