14/02/2025
Valentines Day
I’ve never liked Valentine’s Day, it’s my Dads birthday, growing up so much of everything was about him, his beliefs, his feelings, his moods, his anger, his whims. He never really got gifts for my Mum, for occasions like that, anniversaries, Christmas, birthdays even went uncelebrated by him. It’s why as soon as I was old enough and had money I always got my Mum something on Valentine’s Day, especially after he left.
It’s so hard to shift deeply engrained thoughts and values that were embedded in you from birth, it’s something I’m always doing, questioning my I feel a certain way or why I have a certain view, always working to find what I actually think and feel rather than the hateful, religious, black and white version of things I was told as a child.
Today I’m thinking, why have I always hated this day? It’s a day of love, yes it’s commercial and a lot of it is about making money, but so what? It can be lovely, it can be whatever you want it to be. It can be nothing, it can be everything.
This year I smiled at an old man who spent a good half hour choosing cards for his wife and daughter. My heart swelled helping the man choose presents for his girlfriend, telling me she really deserved treating this year after a tough few months, I felt pride watching my daughter making gifts for her teacher and friends becuase ‘it’s a love day and she loves them all’, I was surprised by a card and tulips from my best friend and forever Valentine.
How lucky I am to be loved this Valentines Day, how wonderful to be able to realise its love I deserve, just for being me, not because of what I’ve done or who I believe in, in spite of who abandoned me all those years ago, that’s nothing to do with me, I deserve love today and every other day.
So do you.
Happy Valentine’s Day.