05/10/2026
Happy Motherās Day. My sweet mother, Amy Elizabeth Nesbit, died at 55 from complications of a back surgery. She would have been 67 in four days. She was the youngest of four; now there is only one remaining sister. These four beautiful children had a mentally ill mother with addiction issues. They raised themselves. My mother wanted nothing more than to have a family of her own, so she married my father young and had three children. We were her greatest joy until the end. Our parents divorced when I was 14.
Amy was kind, spiritual, a giver, hilarious, loved food, humans, and to laugh. I feel like she had peace in the end. She accepted her death. She had 13 days to live after they told her there was nothing they could do. I will never forget her writing on a piece of paper that she did not want to die. Then it took only a day, and she got over it. Like always, she made lemonade. She said, āLetās have a party,ā with her favorite cake⦠Baumās half double chocolate and lemon. She wanted to watch Elf with her favorite, Will Ferrell. She couldnāt really enjoy either since she was dying. However, she was peaceful. She accepted it. I could not. I had begun numbing myself with pharmaceuticals and alcohol.
Before the doctors said she was going to die, I knew she was. I knew six months before, and I could not accept it. I was an atheist at the time. The idea of her becoming nothingāblacknessāmade me ill. I remember being in that hospital room and deciding I was going on a spiritual journey to India and immersing myself in yoga. I booked the first Ashtanga YTTC in Rishikesh I could find. I went six weeks after she died. I had only planned to be there six weeks; after six weeks I canceled my ticket home and began the most important journey of my life. I ended up living between Nepal and India for the next four incredible years.
From this suffering came everything beautiful I am and have now. I believe everything happens for a divine reason. Thank you, Mom, for teaching me to always be kind, be the bigger person, and make my lemons into lemonade.