09/04/2026
I saw someone compare grief to glitter, and I haven't been able to stop thinking about it. Imagine someone dumps an entire container of glitter in your house. At first, it's fu***ng everywhere. It's on the floor, on your clothes, in your hair, stuck to your forehead, and somehow in rooms you swear it never even touched. You clean and clean and eventually you get most of it, but you never get all of it.
That's what grief is like.
Since losing my dad, I've learned that grief doesn't just live in the big moments. It's hiding in completely ordinary ones. A song, a smell, a place, something funny I wish I could tell him, or something I know he would've had an opinion about. Sometimes I'm completely fine and then out of nowhere, there it is. A tiny piece of glitter... and suddenly I miss my dad so fu***ng much.
It's been over a year and a half, and sometimes I feel guilty for being okay or for not being as sad all the time as I was in the beginning. I'll catch myself laughing, making plans, getting excited about something and just living my life, and then it hits me that I'm doing all of that in a world where my dad doesn't exist anymore.
The truth is, I haven't processed that he's gone because I don't know how... and I don't want to. I know my dad died. I know he's not coming back. But knowing that and actually understanding that someone who existed for your entire life is just... gone are two completely different things. How the f**k are you supposed to process something that permanent?
Maybe we're not supposed to clean up all the glitter. Maybe those tiny pieces are proof that someone was here, that they mattered, and that pieces of them are going to keep showing up for the rest of our lives.
So if something completely random makes you cry, that's okay. And if you realize you haven't cried in a while, I think that's okay too. Being okay doesn't mean we stopped loving them... and moving forward doesn't mean we're leaving them behind.
The glitter is still there for me. Sometimes it hurts like hell, sometimes it makes me smile, and sometimes it's both. 💛
