06/05/2025
Children Mirror What They Experience. Even Before Birth.
I was working with a family this week during parent guidance and the topic of stress, anxiety and fear came up. Here are some important things to remind yourself.
From the moment a child begins to grow in the mother’s womb, they are deeply connected to the emotions, energy, and environment of the people closest to them, especially their primary caregivers. Research shows that babies begin tuning into the world through the mother’s nervous system, picking up on cues of stress, fear, safety, or calm.
That means your anxiety, your way of handling frustration, stress from work or how you respond to conflict becomes a kind of emotional blueprint for them. YES. THIS STARTS FROM INSIDE THE MOTHERS BELLY!!
For example, if a child constantly sees an adult panic over the smallest things, yell when they don’t get their way, or shut down during overwhelming moments, they begin to learn that this is how you cope. And unfortunately there is a high probability that they will mirror that. On the other hand, if they consistently witness a calm voice during conflicts, deep breaths when frustrated or angry, or healthy pauses during tough moments, they’ll begin to internalize those strategies instead.
Children don’t just HEAR what we say—they WATCH what we do.
So before we try to change their behavior, we must reflect on what we’re showing them. If you don’t like how they are scared to try new things, look at yourself. If you don’t like how they yell at friends when they are angry, look at yourself. If you don’t like how they don’t eat a well balanced meal, look at yourself. (While also KNOWING and having the intelligence to understand what is developmentally normal vs what is being learned.)
MOST of the time- it starts with YOU. Your kids are watching YOU. They are handling situations the way YOU do. They are speaking the way YOU do.
Start modeling now. They’re always watching—whether they’re in your arms or still growing in your belly!
