08/26/2026
I’m a YES girl. Give me an invitation, a theme, a registry, and a dance floor, and I will do my best to make myself useful. Perhaps too useful. I will, no doubt, be “boot scootin’ boogin” with sweat dripping down.
But after talking with some of my self-proclaimed hermit friends, I realized that we think about invitations very differently. They take into account their social battery and I view it as an opportunity that someone poured their heart into.
This isn’t an argument that we must attend every party or exhaust ourselves in the name of politeness. Social anxiety is real. Time is limited. Things happen. Sometimes the kindest and most responsible response is an honest no.
What I am suggesting is that an invitation asks us to consider an important moment for someone else.
Someone decided our presence would add something to an important moment in their life. We can honor that effort with a prompt response, a communicated change of plans, a thoughtful gift, an enthusiastic costume—or, when the opportunity presents itself, a shockingly committed Macarena.
I wrote more about my rules for being a great party guest—including the birthday party where only two people came, Utah’s troubling relationship with the RSVP, and the boyfriend who designed a hot-dog costume and then got himself into trouble—in my latest Substack.
Read it at the link in my bio. And tell me: What rule would you add?