18/07/2026
Thinking about my sweet grandmother, Ida Schneider, today.
In this photo she is with her first great grandchild, my son Sean, who is now 38 years old. Crazy!
I have a special place in my heart for those older people who I think of as “quietly stubborn.” They don’t really argue or fight with their grown kids. They just… don’t do the thing the other person is trying to get them to do. They do what they want.
They’re going to keep driving, even if everyone knows they probably shouldn’t. They’re going to keep all their stuff too, even when their kids say, “Mom, just get a dumpster and throw it all away.” Honestly, that’s one of the fastest ways to make someone even more determined to keep everything.
And no, I cannot “clean it all out” while the person is on a cruise. I get asked that more often than you would think, and I always say, “I understand why that sounds like a quick and efficient solution… but that’s also called theft, and I don’t do that.”
There are lots of strategies for working with the quietly stubborn. But arguing, pushing, criticizing, or trying to force the issue almost always brings progress to a screeching halt.
Usually it’s one of the grown kids who’s exhausted and frustrated. And honestly, I get that too.
It’s incredibly hard to watch someone you love struggle. They want your help… but they don’t want the help you think they need.
I often find myself in the middle, helping everyone figure out what the real goal is and how to work toward it together. It’s a challenging place to be, but I love it. For a little while I get to become part of that family, and that’s one of the greatest honors of my work.
One strategy that often works really well is to move the person first and declutter later.
If they’re moving in with family, going to assisted living, or downsizing to a retirement community, let them get excited about their new life. Help them choose the things they love most and get settled first.
Then you can go back and deal with the old house. Maybe that means storage for a while. Maybe it means presorting. Maybe something else. There isn’t just one right way.
But getting someone out of a home that’s no longer serving them can make an immediate difference in their quality of life.
And let’s remember… someday we’re going to be the older people who want to keep our stuff too.