06/08/2019
School is finally out for this year and I'm so thankful. I survived my daughter's first year at a new school. I want to post about what I dealt with silently for the first 5 months of last year. I had to painfully tolerate seeing one of my sexual assault attackers. His name is Bobby. On the first day of my daughter's kindergarten school year I came face to face with him in the kindergarten school yard. I instantly got sick and started crying. I had to walk out of the schoolyard because I couldn't control my emotions. It was the most horrible moment of my life. Like a slap to the face and a punch to the gut. I learned that he had a son who was also a new kindergartener at the same school. For 5 months I endured seeing him, his wife (whom I wish I would have informed about my attack by him those many, many years ago when she was dating him) and his two children. I saw him at school plays, school meetings and school family fun nights. I got sick every single time I had to walk by him or stare into his eyes. It was the most horrible time of my life. I was scared and sick every time I had to drop my daughter off to school or picking her up from school. I suffered for five months until he suddenly left the school in December. I heard he moved to Texas. I could finally breath again at the school. I finally felt safe but, I went through Hell those five months.
I recently watch Ellen Degeneres open up about surviving sexual assault in her teen years. She said something that spoke right to me. She said she was talking about it so that other women out there in the world would not be scared to talk about what has happened to them. That is the reason why I write about being a survivor of sexual assault. I have been assaulted many, many times throughout my life and never spoke up. Every time I have had the courage to talk with someone close to me about my assaults, they seems to have a survivor story too. Mostly women. Every time I talk about what happened to me, I hope someone else out there that has suffered too knows that they are not alone. It is important to talk about it. It is not fair to carry shame for something that Never should have happened to you. I am tired of carrying around someone else's shame. I know that it is hard to hear things like this but, it's even harder to survive going through things like this. I talk about it because I want survivors to know...You are not alone!!! No one should ever feel alone!!! There is always someone out there that will listen to you. I WILL LISTEN TO YOU. I WILL BELIEVE YOU! I AM HERE FOR YOU IF YOU EVER NEED ME!
