Damon Lawns & Gardens

23/07/2026

Not a drop of round up was used

16/07/2026

**Working with Hoarders (with Narcissistic Tendencies) — Field Notes**

*Ground rules*
1. Never throw anything away without sign-off — clean, tidy, organise, systemise instead.
2. They know where everything is, even if the scale looks incomprehensible to you — if you move something, know exactly where it went.
3. Objects may hold emotion and memory too painful to carry any other way. Don't judge, don't comment on the lifestyle — it's trauma-related. Say nothing.
4. Follow instructions exactly — no more, no less than what you're told.
5. Record instructions as they're given. Take and send timestamped photos, give regular updates.

*Doing the work*
6. Photograph *before* you touch anything, not just after — protects you if something goes missing or gets misattributed.
7. Sort in place first — build piles within the room before anything leaves the property, so nothing becomes "gone" without approval.
8. Nail down early how they want to be consulted — item-by-item, or keep/maybe/give piles for later review. Get this explicit on day one.

*Reading the dynamic*
9. Expect the goalposts to move — yesterday's rubbish may be today's treasure. Don't argue the inconsistency, just re-confirm and log it.
10. Small inconsistent instructions may be tests of trust — pass them consistently, that's likely what's already earning you the tool use.
11. If they project or escalate, stay flat and neutral — "understood," keep working. Don't mirror it, don't therapise it.
12. Have a calm exit line ready for when you need to step away — "I'll pick this up next time," not an explanation.

*Protecting yourself and him*
13. Keep your own accommodation/space immaculate — it's part of the professional signal you're sending.
14. Stay cool and professional at all times, even under projection.
15. Given his heart attack, agree in advance who to call and what you're authorised to do if you find him unwell on site.
16. Keep a simple written log (date, task, what was said) separate from the photos — for your own record.

11/07/2026

11/07/2026

Here's a practical summary for working with challenging personality types — hoarders, narcissists, difficult elderly clients:

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**They talk to you how they talk to themselves.**

The criticism, suspicion, impossible standards and constant demands aren't personal assessments of you. They're the internal dialogue externalised. You're the nearest surface, not the actual target.

**Listen with your ears, not your wounds.**

When you hear "you did this wrong" through the filter of your own nervous system, it becomes about your worth. When you hear it as information about their internal state, it becomes manageable data.

**Read the pattern, not the content.**

Hoarders value objects over people because objects don't leave and don't judge. Narcissists love bomb when they feel they might lose control of the relationship. Neither behaviour is about you specifically — it's their operating system running its program.

**Stay useful, stay boundaried.**

Do your job well. Don't overextend trying to fix or rescue. The moment you become indispensable through emotional involvement rather than competent work, you've entered their dynamic on their terms.

**Regulate first.**

A shaky nervous system absorbs everything. Ground yourself before you walk in. Their chaos can only destabilise you if you're already unstable.

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Simple enough to remember. Practical enough to actually use.

05/07/2026

I'm Nan Barbs Gardener

If you need a reference

Just ask

04/07/2026

1 Baxter St Donnybrook

For Sale

04/07/2026

Last week of Ercegs

They sure don't make them like they used to

30/06/2026

One door closes

Another door opens

Endings

Are just beginnings

In disguise 🎭