Dave's Mowing and Slashing Services

30/03/2022

Afternoon team, so with the rising price of fuel and cous cous we've had to look at how we operate and what we can do to save money. Larry suggested we collect all the lawn clippings we mow, dry it out and sell it as w**d which technically isn't incorrect as most of the blocks around Ipswich are full of w**ds however there's to much competition in this area for selling illegal substances. So we've looked at long term solutions and in an effort to dodge the tax system and completely undermine both work health and safety and child labour laws I've decided to have another child and put her to work as soon as she stops sh****ng her pants. Everyone meet Sophie

19/03/2022

So here's a video of our newest member of the Dave's mowing and slashing team looking for stumps and any other blunt object in the grass that could be used to try and bend a mowing deck or take the sharp edge off his blades. His name is Larry. After multiple complaints from Jim to Fair Work Australia about exceeding his designated work load and Fare Work Australia telling him he has no rights as he is a lawn mower, we decided to find some additional help so Jim would shut up about his rights that don't exist. As per usual we met Larry at the mower shop and offered him a job.

10/03/2022

29/09/2021

Had a bit of a 'crap' gutter cleaning job to do this week......
We had to remove about 20kg of weapons grade pigeon s**t from some guttering. I've done plenty of gutters but this was a first.

23/09/2021

Dave's mowing and slashing taking on the big jobs. Jim worked his 42 inche ass off and complained the whole way saying that he's not a commercial mower and he should not be mowing over tree stumps. I told him he sounds like one of those half assed electric mowers which he did not appreciate.

21/09/2021

A couple of golden cane palms that needed a tidy up

14/05/2021

Hey team, after 10 months off the tools I am excited to announce that we are back in business. We have relocated from Darwin to Ipswich and you may have noticed that we've changed from Rosebery Lawn and Yard Maintenance to Dave's Mowing and Slashing Services. I have also painted the rims on my mower black in an effort to look new but if I'm being honest it's only because the new model hustler mowers have black rims and I want one.

19/08/2020

G'day team, this is your captain speaking. This will be my last announcement as the CEO/ president of the Christmas party committee/ HR manager/ janitor for rosebery lawn and yard maintenance. For those of you that haven't heard the news we're relinquishing our title as the premier lawn mowing service in darwin as we feel it wasn't fare to our competitors who didn't look as good mowing your lawn as we did. If anyone is looking for a reliable Gardner who will do a decent job then Daniel Richardson from Abetta Property Maintenance is your bloke. From starting out with nothing more than a couple of bits of equipment from Bunnings to the industry leading professional that I am today with enough commercial gear to make big Mickey Gunner stop me in street and ask for advice on how to run a state, I've come along way. Also a big shout out to my self for being the only lawn mowing business in darwin to not only win the beer can regatta but make it onto the front page of the territory news looking dam fine. To date I think I only had 2 disgruntled customers and if you are reading this and thinking that my services were not up to scratch, please don't tell me as I don't care anymore. If I had to say the one thing I enjoyed most about mowing your lawns it was getting paid, this doesn't apply to you costa, you still haven't paid me but hey what's $600 between friends right? And its not like your dog bit me on the leg or anything s**t like that. A special mention to my wife riss for doing my book work as I would rather massacre a fresh dog turd with the whipper snipper then do book work. I appreciate all the work I got to do for all you keen gardening enthusiasts and hope that your yards are either looking much better now or just a little bit less s**t than from when I first attended.
So from all of us here at the Rosebery lawn and yard maintenance team, catch ya round like a rissole and I'll leave you with a video of me using my leaf blowers for something that they are not intended for.