Rufina The Brave

27/03/2020

24/03/2020

Look at her now

18/03/2020

Another (maybe less exciting) documentation of my quarantine month. Never had this much food in the fridge since moving out.

17/03/2020

In the quarantine condition

05/03/2020

This gal ain’t no meme virgin no longer

31/01/2020

Being authentic = giving up the acceptance

18/12/2019

Self care begins with taking shower when your whole skin feels like it doesn’t belong to the body, when you don’t smell the stink of your hair anymore, when you don’t see the eyes behind the greasiness of your face. Self care begins with finishing the bowl of muesli even if you want to throw up. Self care begins with opening the window when you sense the thickness of the air. Self care begins with changing clothes even if you don’t get out. Self care begins with drinking tea instead of stress eating but avoiding the pre-faint state from starvation. That’s what it begins with, and the rest will follow. ⠀
If you or anyone you know feel bad ask for help.

27/11/2019

This is home. Like a lightning in the dark this sudden feeling strokes my stomach. I don’t get that often and there’s never seeing this coming, really. One moment I’m right here, sitting in the bus on the way to Turku, and the next thing I know there’s this blowing cloud growing in my body. The feeling I get realizing it’s not the last time I’m hitting the road to a neighbor city in Finland, knowing that one day I might as well travel there for a casual business trip or a public lecture. The taste of the life that is still beyond the horizon. Life where I’m taking the road and it’s covered with the milk of my mother, this is how I know I’m home. Taking the road covered with the milk of my mother.

20/11/2019

“Mom, why won’t you text me?”

19/11/2019

Very good light

19/10/2019

Whenever (false: whenever I feel depressed just little enough to be able to think clearly) I feel depressed I like to read some book about that brain stuff from sub-neuroscientists who have to make money writing pop-sci due to their professional incompetence. And really, god bless these underachievers. Thanks to them in those low days (when I’m still able to reason myself) I get to hold onto my favorite fairy tale of them all: the tale of a brain that can be cured. No irony, it’s really helpful at these moments to know, that after all, this feeling of the cotton wool in the head can be traced down to the cells and the transmitters in my brain. I don’t know who is Rufina without this cotton wool monster twisting a web inside my mind, I really don’t. But hell, it’s helpful to know that one day, one day when I’m truly brave enough, I can just get rid of it. Burn down the cotton wool in my head, burn up the power I still feel in my heart, give it all to you and burn down for good. Steady fire that keeps going for long or fierce flame that goes out in minutes?
⠀
General concern note: If you feel like you or your friends are in a dark place, please ask for help. @ Helsinki

16/10/2019

Thought in development: I want my art to live in your homes.