10/03/2021
With MOTHER'S DAY fast approaching (Sunday 14th March for those of you who haven't spotted the giant, pink, daffodil-clad banners across every supermarket or the endless tv adverts for Moonpig) we all get to thinking about how great our mums are.
Well, my mum is the ACTUAL greatest, so I thought I'd share with you 15 (or so) reasons why she's my MUM IN A MILLION..
1. She could cook a shoe and it would taste DELICIOUS. (but her lentil lasagne is the best in the entire world)
2. She ALWAYS BELIEVED ME when I said I was ill and let me have time off school (Also two weeks off every year so that we could both watch Wimbledon together!!!)
3. She's a TOTAL BADASS and could totally take your mum in a fight. She once went toe-to-toe with my dragon of a secondary school headmistress, when she said that the school weren't prepared to do anything about my bullying. My 5'1" mum reduced the woman to tears. Go mum!
4. She FORGAVE me for that AWFUL PARTY I had when I was 15 where they trashed the house, set off fireworks on the kitchen worktops and threw up in her wardrobe.
( If that's not unconditional love, I don't know what is!)
5. She gives THE BEST HUGS ... and always cheers me up when I'm sad. Respect.
6. She always tells me EXACTLY what she thinks of my fashion choices. And let's face it, there have been more than a few fashion faux pas' over the years! (Those deckchair -striped jeans should NEVER have left the house!)
7. She always read the BEST BEDTIME STORIES, complete with dozens of hilarious regional accents. Even my kids prefer her funny voices to readings from top Hollywood actors.
We wasted a fortune on audio books. But it's fine. Totally fine.
8. She is SMARTER THAN ANYONE I KNOW and would always be my top pick for any pub quiz team. .. Unless Richard Osman is available. But, still, second place is quite respectable, I think. Is he available??
Also, what she doesn't know about gardening, you could fit on the back of a postage stamp.
9. She NAGS!
Whether it was tidying my room or studying harder for exams when I was younger or eating more healthily, having more compassion for others and making smarter choices as an adult. Like it or not, she has always been that little voice in my head that pushes me to do better today than yesterday. It's an annoying voice. But it's probably the only reason I don't sit around until noon in my dressing gown eating biscuits. Well, not every day.
10. She's INCREDIBLY BEAUTIFUL but is completely unaware of it.
She once famously was mistaken for Cher back in the 1980's ... by a bunch of 6yr old boys - ( it still totally counts!)
N.B. We believe the mix-up was due to her long, black curly hairstyle at the time and in no way related to her fishnet stockings and thigh high leather boots, which she rarely wears around children.
11. She NEVER JUDGES ME. Well, there was that leather trouser-wearing alcoholic boyfriend I had that time and she totally called it but, to be fair, he was really bad news. Other than that... I can only really recall 7 or 8 other times... recently.
12. She's got a FANTASTIC SENSE OF HUMOUR. She bought me a watch for Christmas this year to help me get to work on time more often and help me to increase my productivity. So funny. Really funny.
13. She makes THE BEST CHRISTMASSES EVER!!! She worked so hard one year to make everything perfect that she actually fell asleep face-down in her Xmas lunch.
This was in no way connected to the 3 glasses of port she drank whilst cooking.
14. She gets PROPOSITIONED by MORE young men than I do but, she never brags about it. She also is on first-name/flirting basis with her postman, but as she always reminds me; "we all like a bit of First Class Male."!
15. She's an INCREDIBLE SPORT and the queen of fancy dress transformations because she always approaches them with zero vanity. My personal favourites are, Mahatma Ghandi - complete with bald cap and Asterix (pictured) but, we all love the time she got turned away from her works Xmas party, dressed as Audrey Hepburn, because they didn't recognise her!!
Ok, I know I said 15 reasons but, she's so great I need another one.
16. She is the BEST GRANNY IN THE WORLD to my kids. They have all said they'd prefer to live with her than with us. We're not bitter. She can have them!
So, those are just some of the 15 (or so) reasons why my mum is a hilarious, lovely, beautiful badass, my best friend and my MUM IN A MILLION. If you have a funny/ lovely story about why your Mum is a MUM IN A MILLION, we'd love to hear them!
If you want to treat your mum this Mother's Day, why not treat her to our gorgeous, scented 'MUM IN A MILLION' Rose? Available in a 4L pot for just £14.95 to collect from our nursery in Friggle Street, Frome, BA11 5LH
In the meantime, I'm off to get dressed, tidy my room, finish my homework and hide these chocolate bar wrappers!
Happy Mother's Day to all the mums out there, from all of us here at Wild Thyme Plants!