The Funky Gardener, Garden Services

24/11/2025

Today I said goodbye to my doctor, she was an amazing person, this is just a brief outline of how I got to meet her.

Like most blokes I don't go to the doctor's but after being nagged by my family over a cough, I finally gave up and went to see her, she said it was just a virus, that covers a million and one things, but on my way out she uttered those immortal words, is there anything else, well I said I do get out of breath when walking up hill but there again I was old, to that she said come and take a seat I want to run a couple of tests just to make sure you're ok, the first one was an ECG then a echocardiogram, yeah no problem what could possibly go wrong, well within a week I was rushed into the stroke unit of DCH, so fast forward to the present I'm still here after multiple operations, stents and a heart attack it's all down to her, I literally owe her my life.

15/12/2022

12 DIGS OF CHRISTMAS

On the first day of Christmas
My true love sent to me
A PARSNIP in a pear tree

On the second day of Christmas
My true love sent to me
Two WELLY BOOTS
And a PARSNIP in a pear tree

On the third day of Christmas
My true love sent to me
Three FORKS A FORKIN
Two WELLY BOOTS
And a PARSNIP in a pear tree

On the fourth day of Christmas
My true love sent to me
Four CANES FOR CANING
Three FORKS A FORKIN
Two WELLY BOOTS
And a PARSNIP in a pear tree

On the fifth day of Christmas
My true love sent to me
Five GOLD SPROUTS
Four CANES FOR CANING
Three FORK A FORKIN
Two WELLY BOOTS
And a PARSNIP in a pear tree

On the sixth day of Christmas
My true love sent to me
Six WHEEL BARROWS
Five GOLDEN SPROUTS
Four CANES FOR CANING
Three FORKS A FORKIN
Two WELLY BOOTS
And a PARSNIP in a pear tree
On the seventh day of Christmas

My true love sent to me
Seven SLUGS A SLUGGING
Six WHEEL BARROWS
Five GOLDEN SPROUTS
Four CANES FOR CANING
Three FORKS A FORKIN
Two WELLY BOOTS
And a PARSNIP in a pear tree
On the eighth day of Christmas

My true love sent to me
Eight DIRTY CARROTS
Seven SLUGS A SLUGGING
Six WHEEL BARROWS
Five GOLDEN SPROUTS
Four CANES FOR CANING
Three FORKS A FORKIN
Two WELLY BOOTS
And a PARSNIP in a pear tree

On the ninth day of Christmas
My true love sent to me
Nine RAISED BEDS
Eight DIRTY CARROTS
Seven SLUGS A SLUGGING
Six WHEEL BARROWS
Five GOLDEN SPROUTS
Four CANES FOR CANING
Three FORKS A FORKIN
Two WELLY BOOTS
And a PARSNIP in a pear tree

On the tenth day of Christmas
My true love sent to me
Ten SACKS OF MUCK
Nine RAISED BEDS
Eight DIRTY CARROTS
Seven SLUGS A SLUGGING
Six WHEEL BARROWS
Five GOLD SPROUTS
Four CANES FOR CANING
Three FORKS A FORKIN
Two WELLY BOOTS
And a PARSNIP in a pear tree

On the 11th day of Christmas
My true love sent to me
Eleven LAYERS OF CLOTHING
Ten SACKS OF MUCK
Nine RAISED BEDS
Eight DIRTY CARROTS
Seven SLUGS A SLUGGING
Six WHEEL BARROWS
Five GOLDEN SPROUTS
Four CANES FOR CANING
Three FORKS A FORKIN
Two WELLY BOOTS
And a PARSNIP in a pear tree

On the 12th day of Christmas
My true love sent to me
12 HERNIAS HURTING
Eleven LAYERS OF CLOTHING
Ten SACKS OF MUCK
Nine RAISED BEDS
Eight DIRTY CARROTS
Seven SLUGS A SLUGGING
Six WHEEL BARROWS
Five GOLD SPROUTS
Four CANES FOR CANING
Three FORKS A FORKIN
Two WHEEL BARROWS
And a PARSNIP in a pear tree

I ACCEPTED TOTAL RESPONSIBILITY FOR RUINING THIS SONG 🤣

24/05/2022

A little oasis of calm and tranquillity in Wyke Regis

24/04/2021

Been look for this one for some time

The Coastal Tree Care team feature their largest sectional felling to date - a large Monterey cypress in Wyke Regis, Weymouth. We hope you enjoy the footage...

09/04/2021

Just to let you all know that Facebook business suite is pants, and here's an example, I had a body like that but he wanted it back, so if you need to contact me please call or text 07979 272210 thank you 😊

03/12/2020

18/05/2020

The before and after photos on a garden I did a while back

13/03/2020

I'm taking no chances

28/08/2019

Nothing like a bit of light scrumping