23/12/2025
So, it’s Christmas eve eve, and where was I earlier? I’ll tell you where I was.
Somewhere in Bedford, on my knees in front of an oven with my left hand stuck to it, a pancake with Nutella dripping out of it in my right. My face and ear were pressed against the fascia of an oven, I looked like I was listening to a safe being cracked minus the stethoscope. And behind me there was a very jolly Eastern European lady who had perched her impossibly generous bosom on my shoulders.
FML.😂
How did I get here? 🤔Let me rewind 40 or so minutes.
I arrive at the house, it smells lovely, of baked goods, so I say “It smells nice in here”, the lady replies “Pancakes, we’ve been making them, do you want one?”
I declined and said maybe later. Anyway…the oven door seal was snapped, so I told the lady she needed a new one. I said I could get her one in the new year but in the meantime I could glue the old one to get her past Christmas, but I need to hold it in place while the glue dries, about 10 minutes. Not a problem.
So I clean the oven, glue the seal and begin my 10 minutes of holding it.
The lady then says “while you are waiting do you want a pancake?”
I’m thinking….yeah I could eat that one handed so said yes.
10 seconds later I hear click, click, whoosh and the hob lights and a crepe pan lands on the hob right above my head.
Space was a bit tight by then so I say “oh nooooo don’t worry, I thought you had some done already, I can’t leave this spot”.
“Oh it’s fine she replies, it wont take long”. Well now space gets smaller and it feels like someone has put a pair of melons wrapped in a weighted blanket on my shoulders. Her knees now pushing my middle back a bit. She gives me this pancake which I take in my other hand, I’m so relieved it’s over. Then she says “that’s the first one” and starts to make another!🤣
By that point I’ve now left a face print on the oven door.
Why me, seriously!
Anyway, that’s a wrap for 2025!
Thanks to everyone, I’ve truly loved every minute of it.😆
Looking forward to 2026.
Merry Christmas
Paul
