12/21/2017
And this is how my day goes trying not to worry about the ones that don't want me too ., lieing daily cheating and mental abuse when can. I just rest my mind and just be when I'm sick myself of a disease that will always be here just suppress it tuck it away or just embrace it and let the Lord have it is all I can do when especially when I'm the one that is being made to take the blunt of the blame so I will tell you what I'm guilty of : working my fingers to the bone ,paying all the bills ,making sure the kids have their needs met and the little big things like making sure they brush their teeth ,take showers reg,disipline them make them have manners but they are mine I want to do those things and being cheated on was not in my agenda but I said nothing and kept us togeather and I turned back to drugs after 15 yrs of sobriety but that's the only escape from it I knew but before that I thought it was me not spending enough time so I quit my hobby and passion for them and I think it really made it worse not being away so others could get their "way" but I'm the bad guy cause I am the guy and not the damsell in distress I was made out to be a monster to even my own kids behind my back and even my own mom sisternlaw and other crucial family members where turned against me just because she wasn't enough of a women to just say Ray I want a divorce it could have been that easy for her if she wanted out but she had to blow every bridge between us apart so no I did nothing except be a little ill sometimes cause i was being used up by her and giving my all so that's what I'm guiltu of end of rant if you don't think these things are true then just ask the police and everyone involved they knowI tried my best to give them everything they needed and wanted so yes I'm guilty of being a good dad love y'all to the moon and back ! # # # #
