05/10/2026
My One Flesh, My Best Friend, My One and Only, My Husband-My Bryant went to be with Jesus yesterday. This was unexpected and it feels like part of my chest has been ripped open. Who knew heart break is physically painful? It hurts to breathe.
But...there is always a but, My Bryant loved Jesus. Not quietly but boldy and steadfast he loved The Lord. His faith was unwavering and he shared Jesus with so many. He couldn't help it, his light shown so bright. When he found me, when God brought me to him and him to me I was engulfed in a darkness so heavy and so profound and I was so broken. I had lived that way for so long I didn't even know it was darkness, I just thought that's how life was. But, My Bryant led me firmly and loving into the shining salvation of Jesus and when I was stubborn and difficult and selfish and downright mean, he never loved me less. He only loved me more. He was not perfect but he was perfect for me.
Heaven is so far away and the distance is not measured in miles, it's measured in minutes and hours and days. I wish I had a calendar that had the distance marked so I could check off each day so I could know how far Heaven is, how far he is from me.
My Grace loves her daddy so much. Please wrap my little girl in prayer. Her little heart is broken.
Please pray for my family. I don't own this grief alone. So many loved my Bryant.
I don't know how to do this. I don't know what tomorrow is going to look like without him. I don't know what Christmas or Thanksgiving or Birthdays or a random Tuesday will look like and I'm stuck, wavering between being terrified and trying to just catch my breath. I've never been more scared in my entire life. I've never known fear like this. I don't know how I'm supposed to do this without him.
I know God is good. He IS good. He is sovereign. There is no place I will go that he has not already been. I believe this with my whole heart. I will chose to praise Him.
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