06/02/2026
Well would you look at that... a beautiful day, a tractor, and enough mulch piled up in front of me to make a groundhog think he's looking at the Rocky Mountains.
Now every spring I watch folks turn a simple mulch project into an Olympic event. They'll make six trips with a pickup truck, spend half a tank of gas, and somehow still end up two scoops short. By the end of the day, the truck's sagging, their back's hurting, and they're questioning every life decision that brought them to this moment.
That's why I hired people.
You call Hermitage Agway, tell my people how much mulch you want, pay over the phone, and we'll bring it right to your house. It's almost too easy. Frankly, it makes me suspicious.
And here's the part that'll really tickle your suspenders—the delivery fee is the same whether you order 1 yard or 12 yards. That's right. One scoop or twelve scoops. The truck doesn't care. The driver doesn't care. And most importantly, I don't care.
Back in my day, folks loaded mulch until the truck looked like it was doing a wheelie down the highway. Nowadays you can just call Hermitage Agway and let somebody else make poor decisions with a truck.
We've streamlined the process.
So save your truck springs, save your marriage, and save your Saturday. Let us do the hauling while you stand in the driveway pointing at things and saying, "Yep... put it right there."
Hermitage Agway has the mulch. I've got the tractor. My people have the phone. The only thing missing is your order.
— Burt 🐾
P.S. If you order 12 yards, I may personally wave at the delivery truck as it leaves. That's the kind of customer service you just can't get everywhere.
