12/22/2022
have you noticed or are you tired of hearing about how stressed our children and young adults are? This leads to alcohol, drugs, (legal and otherwise) low self-esteem and a cycle of victimhood.
LET'S START WITH THE FACTS as i see it. DO NOT DO THIS TO YOUR CHILDREN
1. Make them accept responsibility for their mistakes, mistakes are how we learn and the ability to accept responsibility for and make corrections in how we do things next time.
if we do not accept responsibility for out losses, we can never fully take pride in our successes, allowing young people to avoid the losses (trophies for everyone) prevents them from taking pride in the wins. the result is it diminishes their self-esteem as they believe they are not in control of their lives. can you imagine how confusing your life would be if you felt that you were not responsible for outcomes and it was ok to blame others for all things negative, accepting no responsibility for any portion of any bad situation? not allowing you to make corrections? virtually guaranteeing that this cycle will be repeated.
2. Teach them that is ok to lose, ( i did not say fail) it just means that they need to work harder, make course corrections and come back stronger, smarter, faster and win in the future. By doing this, they can take ownership in the loss and pride in the wins, building self-esteem teaching them that they have the power to take control of their lives and succeed.
3. Teach them that " LIFE IS NOT FAIR" bad things happen, officials make bad calls, you get involved with less than honest people. If i hear one more time "THATS NOT FAIR" I think i will be be sick. life is not always fair so pull up your big boy (or girl) pants and get back in the game, by doing anything other than acknowledging it accepting that people are not perfect and learn that by dealing with and having honest reliable friends and associates is the best insurance against overall bad outcomes.
4. Teach them that plans do not always work out as you hope. when things go wrong, don't hide it, recognize it, be honest and go to everyone involved and make them aware, work with them if you owe money, allow the people who believed in you to help you work through the issues and prove that their faith is well placed and even it it doesn't work out exactly as planned you will be there to deal with the problems.... that is character. Years ago when you applied for a loan they had an entire process called "character and credit" unfortunately in many cases, that chance to look deeply at the personality and history has been replaced by some algorithm. NOTHING IS AS IMPORTANT AS A PERSONS CHARACTER AND CREDIT. all good things will flow from those personal characteristics
5. If you are one of those parents that allows your kids, spouses, siblings or self to avoid responsibility for mistakes you cannot really be happy with how you feel about your roll in molding those around you. just because the path of least resistance is to let them get away with not owning their actions does not mean it is best for them or you.
I once heard on the radio that "we are not raising children, we are raising adults" how do you want that adult to face the world, as a victim or as someone that takes action and has a positive impact on the world around them?
ONE LAST COMMENT and please add on to this posting (both good and bad) i can take it without having my feelings hurt.
i believe that most people are more afraid of success than failure, because of everything above they are much more prepared to accept failure and actually expect to fail because they do not feel they are in control of the outcome.
Remember, they cannot beat you if you keep getting back up and trying.
MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR YOU ARE IN CONTROL OF YOUR LIFE!
