07/14/2026
It’s my greatest pleasure to announce that I’ve officially adopted this lil man as my son & sole heir. A Modern Plantsman Junior, if you will. Stanley “Staniel” Villareal, first of his name, King of cuddles, & stealer of sandwiches, my most tender & loving uncooked chicken nugget son, my little goblin monster punkin. I vow to care for him through all his days.
Some Stanley lore for ya, 6 1/2 months into getting to know the guy: First, he’s a talker, never shy to share an opinion, & affectionate beyond measure. If he could live inside your skin, he would. He yearns for warmth/love, & dare I say that I adore this part of him most.
But he is not without his frustrations or little terrors, which is why he was up for foster in the first place. He has an undiagnosed skin/GI issue, vomits regularly, & has the nervous system of a traumatized toddler.
We have no real record of Stanley’s youth. We believe he’s 9/10, & that goblins dropped him from the sky during a terrible winter storm. He was found by a passel of opossums, deep in the woods where no Sphynx had dared go. He occasionally hisses, a fun skill he picked up by his marsupial brethren. His kinked tail is a souvenir from losing an argument with a door. His 4th owner relinquished him unto me after all others failed to meet his demands or tolerate his extraterrestrial abilities.
He is but a lost, tormented soul in a cursed, hairless body with a tiny peanut for a brain.
On the real, we think one of his early owners used a shock collar on him & withheld his food. His tail was likely broken by being stepped on, or caught in a door. His only coping mechanisms are dissociating & scarfing food, BUT he makes a mean biscuit!
On a positive note, homeboy is a foodie to his core. Churu, tuna, chicken, & once, an entire Subway sandwich left unattended a min too long. He also loves back rubs! You’ll know you’ve got him when his head tilts back in pure kitty ecstasy.
Stanley needs real support, his health issues are ongoing, so but I’m up for the challenge. If you’d like to help with a vet bill, my Venmo’s Dominic@amodernplantsman btw.
We’re gonna do a baby shower themed party for him LATER THIS WEEK! Announcement pending!
