02/11/2026
Words of wisdom from a fellow flower gardener in North Carolina
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I saw this quote today and it stopped me in my tracks:
“We must be our own before we can be another’s.”
— Ralph Waldo Emerson
And I’ll be honest…this is a concept I still wrestle with.
Because as women, we’ve been trained (and praised!) for pouring ourselves out. For showing up. For pushing through. For carrying everybody else’s load like it’s just part of the job description. Like it’s just something you’re just supposed to do.
And listen…there are seasons when you absolutely have to take care of others first.
For example, what mother wouldn’t walk through fire for or swim through high water for her children? And if you’ve ever cared for an aging parent, a sick spouse, or a loved one who needed you…you already know. Sometimes love looks like sacrifice.
But here’s the hard truth I keep coming back to:
If you don’t take care of yourself, you eventually won’t be able to take care of anybody.
That old saying is still as true as ever:
You can’t pour from an empty cup.
It’s like the airplane rule…they tell you to put on your own oxygen mask first before helping your child. Not because you love your child less, but because if you pass out, you can’t help them at all.
And self-care doesn’t have to be fancy. It isn’t always bubble baths and spa days.
Sometimes it looks like:
**taking a walk even when you don’t feel like it
**drinking water instead of running on coffee and stress
**stretching your stiff knees and hips before they start talking back (because you know they can get sassy sometimes!)
**moving your body so you can stay strong and steady
**turning off the news and noise to preserve your peace
…and yes, as a woman of a certain age, even practicing how to get off the floor unassisted if a fall happens (because life is real, y’all)
I think about this a lot out at Stillwater Gardens.
Because if I don’t stop to rest, hydrate, eat right, and take care of my body…then I won’t be able to keep planting, growing, harvesting, and doing the work God has put in my hands.
Even the soil needs a season of replenishing.
And so do we.
🙏🏽💜 “Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit… Therefore honor God with your bodies.”
— 1 Corinthians 6:19-20
So today I’m reminding myself (and maybe you too):
Taking care of yourself isn’t selfish.
Sometimes it’s stewardship.
Reflective Question:
What’s one small way you can “refill your cup” this week…so you can keep loving others well?
© 2026 Benita Gibbs. All rights reserved.
