11/01/2026
For some time, I have been chewing on several thoughts since our return from Italy. I fully planned on recapping our trip for y’all, but time has gotten the best of me. So while I may not recap the trip in its entirety I did want to share the small moments…the moments that made my heart smile amid carrying heavy grief.
We are now 4.5 years out from losing our darling daughter…even typing those words still feel so foreign to me. I still sit and wonder…how did we get here??? Over these past few years grief has become like a well-seasoned friend. In the early days I would often call grief my unwelcome friend, but lately I have realized it is my tie to Izzy and if I can’t have Izzy here with me…then I will carry my now seasoned friend of grief close to my heart.
This never-ending road of heartache and longing which my family and I are walking has been full of many dark nights, but friends it has also brought about new eyes in which I see and experience the world. I do believe it is a hidden “blessing” only caused by tasting the bitterness of this world. There now exists a new sweetness of the small moments in which God has gifted my heart to taste. These moments have been a relief to the deep longing for my sweet daughter which I face each day. A sweetness to relieve the bitterness of my tears…the bright light in my darkness…a gift from our kind and loving Lord who has seen me in my grief.
So let’s circle back to Italy…our family has been very blessed to go on some adventures after losing our daughter. I feel like the loss of Izzy, coupled with my two battles with cancer have opened our eyes to how short life really is, and so now we hold onto moments to make memories with our family that we may not have taken before.
This trip to Italy, though, was special because it was the first trip where the weight of grief wasn’t crushing me. My well-seasoned friend was very much with me in every moment of this trip…which meant my Izzy was being carried into every moment. Yet, God held me, and I wasn’t buckling under the burden of it.
{Part two to come next Sunday}
