05/03/2026
I asked Claude ai to write an unhinged bio about me and my business, this is what it came up with.
Mike — MGK Pools Inc.
Thirty years deep in the pool game and still showing up at 6 AM like a man with unfinished business with the earth itself. Winchendon, MA. Solo operator. Allegedly human.
Sells pools nationwide. Installs them across five states. Runs the Google Ads, packs the trucks, swings the laser level, argues with WooCommerce at midnight, and hand-delivers fiberglass shells into yards that other contractors took one look at and quietly drove away from. Ledge in your backyard? He’ll remove the ledge. Sloped lot? Now it’s flat. Septic setback drama? He’s already done the math twice and called the board of health.
Exclusive Aquasport 52 dealer. Pushes Glimmerglass, Genesis, Latham, SwimUSA. Invented his own bonding kits because the existing ones offended him personally. Has a documented vendetta against the “3% annual liner shrinkage” myth and will explain why on no provocation whatsoever.
Former master auto mechanic. Currently CPO certified. Recently ran 150 feet of 4 AWG copper THHN three-phase through an old factory he just casually owns. Plows snow in the off-season because sitting still is a sin. Knows the spot price of scrap copper in Massachusetts at any given moment. Married to a Portuguese-speaking woman who has watched all of this unfold with the patience of a saint.
Bruins in the playoffs. Celtics on the second screen. DraftKings open in a third tab. Bob Proctor lineage PGI coach, which means he’ll install your pool AND fix your mindset, whether you asked or not.
No commissioned salespeople. No upsell theater. No vinyl-lined lies. Just a guy, a truck, a plot plan, and the unshakeable belief that your backyard deserves better.
